It's On Me: Accept Hard Truths, Discover Your Self, and Change Your Life (Hardcover)
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“A masterful guide to help all those who are building self-awareness.”—yung pueblo, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Lighter
A revolutionary guide to identifying self-loss—that feeling of being adrift, disconnected from your true Self—and discovering the freedom that comes from taking responsibility for how we live and who we become, from an existential psychotherapist, USA Today columnist, and Instagram’s popular “Millennial Therapist”
So many of us feel lonely, unfulfilled, or trapped—in our roles and relationships, in cycles of self-sabotage and bad decisions, by our patterns and misguided attempts to feel happy or to feel something. According to existential psychotherapist Sara Kuburic, it doesn’t have to be so difficult. Really.
The answer is found in facing ourselves—whatever version that might be, regardless of whether we like the person we see reflected back to us. It’s about accepting full responsibility for the choices and actions that create our reality. It’s about finally taking ownership of this person we call our “Self.” It’s about realizing that it’s on us to figure out the two most essential questions: “Who am I” and “Why am I here?” and then to live accordingly.
In It’s on Me, Kuburic unpacks “self-loss,” giving us new vocabulary to understand this rarely talked about experience and offers tools she’s used for years to help clients recover. Self-loss becomes apparent when we do not recognize ourselves in our actions, words, or relationships; when we lose sight of who we truly are, and feel the pain and emptiness from performing or observing life, rather than living it. Guiding us through her unique process of self-reflection, acceptance, and discovery, Kuburic proves that we can
• experience but not feel overpowered by our emotions
• establish a healthy connection to our bodies
• set loving boundaries to define ourselves and heal our relationships
• declutter our physical and mental environments to create space for our true Self to thrive
• find meaning and purpose in a seemingly meaningless world
Revelatory and empowering, Kuburic shows how we can stop sleepwalking our way through the lives we don’t want and step into our most vibrant, authentic, and meaningful Self. In doing so, we unlock a deep sense of connection to our innermost being, and to those around us.
About the Author
Sara Kuburic is an existential psychotherapist, consultant, writer, and columnist for USA Today. She was born in Yugoslavia and raised in Canada. She is passionate about helping people seek change and live authentic, free, and meaningful lives. Her interest in psychology stems from her personal experience living through wars, navigating complex relationships, and continually learning what it means to be human.
“A masterful guide to help all those who are building self-awareness, It’s On Me eloquently and brilliantly reconnects us with a life of meaning and empowerment by helping us understand the concept of self-loss. . . . Relatable and necessary.”—yung pueblo, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Lighter
“As the expectations of work, home, social media, parenthood, partnerships, etc., pile on, Sara Kuburic touches on something many people feel in their bones: lost. In It’s On Me, she gently yet firmly guides readers through our self-investigation so that we may take full responsibility and ultimately create a more aligned, authentic, and vibrant life.”—Nedra Glover Tawwab, New York Times bestselling author of Set Boundaries, Find Peace and Drama Free
“If human beings came with a manual, It’s On Me would be it! Though we are all subject to the ups and downs of the world around us, we have more control over how we respond to that world than we realize, and Sara Kuburic shows us how.”—Simon Sinek, optimist and New York Times bestselling author of Start with Why and The Infinite Game
“It’s hard to know exactly how to return to yourself, especially if you didn’t realize how far you had drifted. It’s On Me invites you to do what is otherwise deeply challenging and often elusive work in a tangible, supported, and compassionate way. It lights a path that will lead you back to you.”—Melissa Urban, New York Times bestselling author of The Book of Boundaries
“Masterful and provoking . . . Kuburic has outdone herself with her brilliant guide, It’s On Me, as she challenges the reader to step toward a path of self-inquiry and discovery. If your goal is to live an authentic life—one of freedom—then this a must read. In a world where skirting responsibility is often the norm, Kuburic argues that finding responsibility becomes the gateway to meaning, which will ultimately lead you to the Self—the most profound form of existence.”—Vienna Pharaon, LMFT, author of The Origins of You